Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Lets Play a Game: The Ethics of Correct Finger Pointing

STEP 1: Blame Someone













STEP 2:  Waste Valuable Time "wisely"

















 STEP 3: (Optional) Fix the Problem











Thus ends this lesson!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Why Worry.......

How often have you felt the butterflies in your stomach.... a feeling resembling indigestion, hunger, constipation, a little bit of gas and impending diarrhea all at once?

You wake in the night from sound sleep, fully alert. You feel energized enough to run laps around the regular morning joggers, but are wise enough to just lay there in the dark.....

Your focus is unsteady....you are capable of still functioning well at your job, but if left idle for a minute your mind wonders.

 The worst thing that can happen at this point is to have nothing to do.You would love to sit idly any other day at your computer, aimlessly searching google from your 'search list' (fellow nerds can identify). However instead of being given your regular work load, there is a sudden and unusual ease, which you would plead for any other day. Here at this point, in which your mind wonders into the labyrinth of your worrydom, you would be ready to search the office like a crack head for something to do! "Want me to write that letter for you? Want me to file that for you? Want me to count your paper clips?"

I am at that point now.....

Anyone can identify with this experience......the question is do I say why I am worried?

Supposedly 40% of the things we worry about never happen......we can only hope that what we are worrying about at the time will fall in that percentage.

Telling someone not to worry....is mostly a comfort to the 'teller' and not the recipent!

You might as well tell me to fuck off!!

Not many people are willing to genuinely give a listening ear anymore....we are far more concerned with what is happening in our own worlds to not give a damn about another person's.

Only if you can identify with an exact situation, could you really have the audacity to say "Don't Worry" otherwise, shut the hell up!

Now the issue at hand for the worrier is to remember  that each person is different, and each situation unique. We must be mindful, that truly at times someone just doesn't know what to say, and by sticking a "Dont Worry" bandaid on the situation and walking away is just safer for most people.

Likewise we must remember that what worries you, may be a grill cheese sandwich to another person....and that each person deals with things differently.

Perception is a bitch!



So its probably safer to just keep things to myself for awhile and only speak up if it becomes a problem. I'm only human, and its impossible to not worry, but what I can do is hang in there till the worry becomes and issue (which is hopefully never....or at least not for now)

SHIT it sucks being a realist!


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

All Grown Up......

Now there comes a point every now and again in an adult's life, when you step back and look introspectively at yourself.

Time seems to freeze frame for a minute, the room quietens and your vision becomes clearer, colours brighter and sounds louder. You feel your chest raising with each breath and your heart pumping in your chest, this organic mechanism that forces life through your veins.......then you say....FUCK I'm getting old!

What happened to the time......to your desire to be older?

I recall adding a number to my age each year.....umm but now....I'm quite content at leaving it at the current age.

If I had a choice to revisit a part of my life, I would choose me at 4 years old. When the world was an ultimate wonder and there was NOTHING to worry about! The most work I did was to learn the alphabet, write my name and colour within the lines (which I was really good at by the way).

We hurry to this point of responsibility.... not noticing and embracing the actual journey. I have intentionally slowed things down to smell the roses as it were.

I'm happy being a BIG kid now.....All Grown Up.....HELL NO!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Orgasm: DECODED


As the French call it “La petite mort” translated, “the little death”, has both fascinated and disgusted people throughout the ages. While various cultures and even religions have embraced the act of, love making, in some instances suggesting that true enlightenment can only be achieved through sex, others have shunned it.

What is it that scares us so much about sex? Could it be the actual carnal act, the allusion to and comparison of us to mere animals? However did you know that Dolphins are the only other animal besides us humans who have sex for the pleasure of the act, rather than just for procreation?! Hooray for the Dolphins!

To become technical, the orgasm is the forth of the five stages of the “The Process of Sexual Response”. (Don’t worry it sounds dull but keep reading) After achieving Desire, Arousal, and Plateau the body reaches Orgasm, that too brief phase of complete ecstasy.

In Orgasm women experience a series of pleasurable muscle contractions around the vagina, while men experience contractions of the prostate gland, vas deferens and seminal vesicles, often times described as painful (which has dramatically lowered my personal *penis envy). However to the dismay of some, this article will not be focusing on means and ways to achieve the perfect orgasm, but rather the last stage of the Sexual Response Process, that of Resolution, the blissful state of well-being and relaxation which is a direct result of the body’s release of endorphins during orgasm.

These miraculous chemicals have a similar chemical structure to that of morphine, and are found to lower stress levels, regulate contractions of the intestinal wall and alleviate mood, and one’s Resolution phase can be theorized to be enhanced based on the intensity of the orgasm, which leads me to (Drum Roll please)…… The Four Categories of the Female Orgasm: The Mellow Ooohh, Frisky Feline, Vivacious Vagina and the last but certainly not least Shakespearian Glow.

The Mellow Ooohh!

Ladies, recall the moments where in complete bliss all you want to do is simply roll over and fall asleep.

At this level of Orgasm and Resolution, you feel at peace with the world and all that is in it. Nothing is a bother, everything seems just right, the glass is neither half empty nor half full, but instead just a glass of refreshingly, beautiful water. You breathe easier and your voice has dropped a couple of octaves below normal, finding yourself in your own utopia, rose colored world.

This orgasm makes for the perfectly pleasant day, where you would actually find yourself smiling with your selfish and overbearing boss, not to mention catch yourself smiling at the most awkward times throughout the day, for example a ‘cut throat’ meeting with executives of your company. Nothing seems to get you down!

The Frisky Feline

The Mantra: More, More More! Your partner begs you to give him a break, jokingly complaining; “I am not a machine woman!”

This Orgasm puts you on top of the world, and unfortunately prevents you from focusing on anything else other than the spectacular moment the night before, or the morning before you got to work.

You come in to work feeling relaxed yet on edge, strategically planning your next pounce and attack on your partner. You have unleashed the little beast within you, who desires nothing more than simply that…more! You may even find yourself purring in thought, but unfortunately or fortunately may then realize that you are attracting any man that crosses your path. Being in heat does have its benefits, however by the end of the day all you may want to do is lock yourself up at home.

The Vivacious Vagina

You have now transformed into super woman. You feel like you can save the world on this day, but are smart enough to focus on your own little piece of the planet.

You are focused, strong and confident. You feel a marked difference in your attitude. You no longer see your boss as selfish and overbearing, but instead someone who was possibly not hugged enough as a child. You seem to be most progressive, and almost feel a little self conscious and suspicious that everyone must know about the tryst you had the night before. You seal deals, expertly manage your time, and consider new theories to better your life, not to mention calling your partner several times throughout the day to glorify their performance, and tell them just how much of a good day you are having.

The Shakespearian Glow

This one sounds wonderful and alluring, but if you have had one of these, or know a bit of Shakespeare, then you would possibly think twice about encountering this zenith. Let just say this orgasm scares the living hell out of you!

Shakespeare often referred to the orgasm as the French do, meaning to die. Some religions, such as Islam, believe that the bliss of an orgasm is just a portion of the bliss you experience in heaven. Others such as Buddhism feel that true enlightenment can be found within this moment. Well listen up… the Shakespearian glow is the closest you can get to a Near Death Experience without actually dieing.

The light is no longer at the end of the tunnel, but instead has smacked you across the face several times, and at that moment you are truly ready and willing to meet your Maker if necessary. The natural post coital glow has been magnified a hundred times over. You no longer are on top of the world, but are now are holding it in the palm of your hand. Every thought seems to have purpose. You are not looking at the world through rose colored lenses, but instead see without seeing. Let us just say true *Zen and you are completely comfortable with not having anymore of those, mind numbing while simultaneously exploding orgasms for the rest of your life.

Finding your O…

There are no steps to the perfect orgasm, and in fact there is no perfect orgasm. To be quite frank, any article you read with directions is crap. It is all about you and what you like.

You need to know and appreciate yourself, while knowing and appreciating your partner. Some may feel quite happy with their Mellow Ooohhs, while others yearn for The Shakespearian Glow. The point is however to find what YOU like.

It all starts within the mind! Clarity of thought and forgetting everything that has bothered you throughout the day and what you have to do in the next hour is the biggest turn on. Living in that moment; feeling, experiencing and expressing passion for each second, is indeed life’s true orgasm.

But if that doesn’t work, here is my best advice, practice, practice, practice. Do your own research!


* Penis Envy – Psychological terminology referring to the female’s natural displeasure with their gender role, as men tend to have more freedom, power, etc.

* Zen – Buddhist state of heightened consciousness, spiritual fulfillment and enlightenment.

Monday, March 22, 2010

LOVE - True Love - Yup it exists :)

I'm a believer!!! :)

To Love is to die a thousand deaths, yet to be reborn with each breath life bestows! Without faith in True Love - it will never be attained....

So how do i love thee? Let me count the ways.... this may take awhile.......:)

Changin the tone!!!

So blogging never really took off for me....till now....



Considering it free therapy to write my thoughts to the world...in hopes that i feel better....and maybe it could do some good for another.



*Drumroll* Tone change: My mom has cancer!



Oooo yup i said it....now here's the issue, do you continue reading, or do ya hit the "back button"?



Basically i still have no idea how to feel...denial i suppose....numbness maybe....I'm distracting myself constructively, by pouring all my efforts and talents into fundraising and spreading awareness for pancreatic cancer through (here comes the shameless plug) @TDRFoundation on Twitter and http://www.dahliarepole.org/



No one likes to hear the word cancer.....describing the experience is almost similar to pulling my own teeth out, but I'll try :) (warning: if my cynicism bugs u, your on the wrong blog)



I have to admire and at the same time despise doctors who have to disclose diagnoses everyday...after awhile - i suppose you become cold and distant.....



Sitting beside my mom in the cold, stark office and hearing the words cancer - i looked to her to tell how I should respond.....dumbfounded doesn't explain it! I stared in her eyes which begun welling up with tears....... i have only seen her cry a handful of times....then she swallowed hard and started asking the "real questions" - "Ok lets get real Dr. ________ whats the timeline?"



WOW i was about to break inside and here she put me back together again with her realistic approach - i knew then how to take the news. Face it! Stare it down - make preparations and do what you can to kick the disease in the ass!!!



My mom is an amazing woman! No doubt there are so many others out there with similar stories to share.....tell me! Lets help each other!



So here i am....whistling in the dark....hoping, praying, loving!